My heart
I felt like pouring a bit of my heart out to someone and so here I am going to try and make since of it in words. I don't know if my rant can be understood, but it makes since to me. I know that as soon as I put it into words it losses some of its edge as, I know I and God are the only ones who will ever fully understand what I am trying to say, yet I had to try.
How can you describe being the most content, yet most discontent at the same time? I am enjoying life. I enjoy my job, I love my friends and where God has put me. I love how God has trusted me in minor places of leadership within the youth program at my church. I love how he has grown me up in my faith so much and is continuing to grow me and teaching me knew things. Yet, I want more. I want more God. I want to see my friends; I want to have more adventure. I want to.... I want to... I want to go everywhere, see everyone, experience many cultures, learn many different languages, and see everything God created. I want to bring my love for God to the nations. Yet, I want to stay here in my city, and help all the kids here that have poor lives and need God. There is so much out there to do, and it seems like so few workers, and I feel like I’m doing nothing when I look at the big picture. I want all God has for me; I want to do everything that he has called me to do. But how can I do anything when I am so imperfect. I don't want answers to these questions, I know them. I know God gives us grace. I just wish God would get more of the love he deserves, a love that I know that even I fail to give him because of my sinful ways.
posted by Shira @ 9:22 p.m.
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