Jumble of thoughts

How to put my thoughts to words? I don't really know if I can because I am not quite sure I understand them myself. I don't think I will put all my thoughts into this blog, it would be too hard. I will just say the conclusion I have come to at the moment. I can't stay here. I can't live at home forever. There are needs here, but I am not called here. I am called to the world. I want to go and be aware of all the needs of the world; I want to help people practically and spiritually. I want to love people. I don't want my home to be a material thing filled with objects I don't need gathering. I want it to be with God. I want to trust him to make me feel at home where ever I am. I want to bring the part of God, God has placed within me, to the nations. I want to learn about the different aspects of Gods character through the nations and all the people I meet. Where will I go? Everywhere. When will I go? I don't know. I guess I need to wait on God for that one, but he will let me know. I trust him. Part of me doesn't want to go, yet the bigger part of me knows I could never stay. Tomorrow these strong feelings I don't quite understand (there is more than I could put in words) will probably subside. I will be back to being content with my life at the moment. Yet, I know I will never be fully satisfied here, I know God as called me to a bigger life than Winnipeg; I just don't know when it will begin.

Bitter Sweet Memories

This evening, I was sitting in my church and during worship a sweet memory from Cambodia entered my mind. I closed my eyes to capture the full bitter sweetness of the memory. We had gone out as a group (6 of us on our team) to a little house way out in the 'middle of nowhere' where they usually held a non-formal school for kids to come and learn. Usually, at this particular spot, there would be probably about 15 kids at ‘school’.
Yet, this day was different. We were there to do some lice treatment. Nothing that would be permanent, yet something that would help show the kids we did care and give them a little bit of relief. Though we found that the spot where they would usually teach (on the ground with a tarp and a white board under a tree) had no water close enough to carry. Because of this, we had to walk a little ways down the dirt road. As we did, kids from around the neighborhood saw us and came and joined us. By the time we got to the water pump there was a mob of little Asian kids following us.

This is only part of the memory of that day, and these pictures are not from this particular memory. Though, each picture i took came with its own story. Some pictures have two. I never thought I could find so much joy in going around for three days doing lice treatment. Part of me wants to be back in that moment, back to that experiance. I miss those simply sweet moments were you have the opportunities to share Gods love in that way, even when you can’t speak their language well. However, i know that God will bring me more experiances and memories that i will come to cherish just as much.