What is God teaching me?

I told Jessica and Erin that I would write a blog on what God has been challenging me on. So I guess I will have to figure out the specifics so I can put it into words……. He has been challenging me to really get to know him. Not that I don't know him already, but there is so much more that I don't know. I am at the moment working on reading through the whole bible. Yes, I have grown up in a Christian home and probably throughout my childhood have gone through most of the bible, if not all of it. Yet, I really want to know, that I know, that I know, that I have read the whole bible. I am also one that is not very good at reading in order, so I hop all over the bible with lists to cross out books as I read them. Anyways, my point isn't to just read the bible to say that I have read it. I want to read it, and lean not on my own understand but on Gods. I want to understand his heart for his people. I really want to know the God of the Old Testament. Now, saying that, I know that the God of the Old Testament is the same one as the New Testament. Yet, I want to understand this in my heart; so that when people ask why he appears different I will be able to answer them with the truth that comes from an understanding in your spirit. I want to truly share with them the love of my God because I know it myself. This is all very over-whelming because this is not the only thing I am trying to figure out. I have recently had some teaching on end-times. I know Jesus preached on it a bunch as well, and I am trying to figure out what my specific point of few of it is. However, I know that I want God to be my teacher. I don't want people to tell me what they believe and just take there word for it. I want to know for myself in my heart. I want to know the scriptures that support it. I guess the thing is, there is so much I know that God is waiting to teach me through his word, and I just want to read it all and understand it right away. Although, I know it doesn’t always work that way. I have to wait on the lord, but I want to understand so I can keep reading and learn more. Yet, I sometimes need to read and re-read so that I can actually let the knowledge I receive sink into my heart.

I guess the main thing is; I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing right now. I know that I am called to serve at home, in Winnipeg. I know that me working at the cafe part time is a part of the ministry that God has called me to. I know that me serving as a Jr. High leader at church and doing a few teachings, is what God has asked me to do. I know that leading a small group of young adults every other week is also part of Gods call. However, that is not all he has called me to. He has called me to be his student. God will call me to step to the next level of ministry at some point, but when he calls me to that next step will I be ready? Will I be spiritually prepared to take on whatever he has for me? These are the questions God has really been asking me to consider. That is what the longing to get into the word has really been about. I know that God has called me to do great things for him, as he has for all of us. He has great plans for everyone, for every Christian, but are we letting him work in us and teach us, so that he can actually use us in his plans. The people who will bring the gospel to the nations with power and authority need to have the spirit working through them. If you don't know the spirit of God, how can you have him flowing through you with power? If I was put in a situation where I needed to suffer for the cross, I don't know if I would be ready, but I would like to think I would be one day. I would like to think that God could use me in that way if he wanted to.
I also want to know the truths of the bible so well, that if I was confronted with a lie, I would know. This ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. I hope it makes sense. If you have any questions or need me to clarify on any of the points, just leave me a little comment and I will do what I can. Thanks to those who actually read the whole thing. I hope you didn't read it out of obligation though. Oh and those of you who read the whole thing get this little random comment.-“I need new socks, one of the ones I am wearing has a hole"